Creative RAD Consequence # 222 Habitual Behavior

I know my husband and I feel like we are working as hard as we can everyday to help our RAD kids learn that life is so much better with good choices and kindness.  I know we also feel like we are getting nowhere.  One day I was trying to explain to our son, Jack, how if he continues acting the same way, he can expect the same result...consequences for those choices. 

This conversation is like talking to brick wall.  One day I had an idea of how to approach it differently .  Jack is our physical kid.  He is always on the go and I thought maybe I could use that to my advantage.  I took him in the bathroom and placed about 2 TBSP of Crisco on his hand.  I asked him to rub it in like soap all over his hands.  I then turned on the water and told him he could go play as soon as all the Crisco was off his hands.  He smiled and said "ok".

However, about 30 seconds later he wasn't smiling anymore.  After he had scrubbed and scrubbed, he was no closer to getting his hands clean.  This became quite frustrating to him. 

After a few minutes, I went in and talked to him about how frustrating it was keep working and trying to get his hands clean, but they were still dirty.  I told him that his dad and I feel this way sometimes too.  We do everything we can to teach him and show him how to make his life easier and happier, yet he doesn't change.

I then asked him what he was doing to try and get his hand clean.  He said "rubbing them under the water".  I asked what he did when he saw that they weren't getting clean.  He said "I rubbed them under the water again".  This same dialogue kept repeating itself for a few minutes. 

Finally, I said, "Do you think that maybe you need to try something different?"  He said yes and so I gave him some dish soap and told him to rub that on his hands under the water.  The Crisco started to come off.  After about 30 seconds, his hands were clean.

We took this example and talked about how if he continues to make the same choice to break rules, he will continue to find himself in trouble.  We talked about how if he wanted to change so he wasn't in trouble all the time, he would need to change how he was acting.

We continue to use this as a tool.  Sometimes we just talk about the experience, but other times we put Crisco on and do it all again.