What It Is Like Being the Sibling to a RAD By a Sibling

BEING A

  BIG BRO

BY SAM WILLIAMS (Lynne’s oldest son)

I am Sam Williams and I am going to let you know what it is like to give love to a little girl who does not return it. When we adopted Kate she was not what I thought she would be like, but I loved her anyways.  She threw fits constantly and was mean to our little brother, Jack. And after 2 years, she still is. I have always wondered why she does it.

She does not understand what love is and it is hard to explain to her that she will stay with us and that we love her with all our hearts.  But I don’t blame her. If I had been moved out of homes 17 times in six years, I would be scared too. It is hard to explain why she does what she does, especially when I don’t understand it myself. All I know is I will always love her, even when she does not return it.

Sometimes it gets really hard. Everyone is having fun and then she strikes.  It’s hard to walk through a grocery store with her ramming the buggy into people while she is throwing a fit.  And it isn’t any fun when a grandparent comes to baby sit and she purposely does something, but doesn’t get caught and then she gives me a look. Even though she constantly is in my hair, I always love her.

I’ve been her brother for two whole years and it is always a game.  She acts all sweet and then strikes. Or she will see how many people she can get to look at her in the grocery store or if she can embarrass us enough that we will give her what she wants. But she does not really even want the things she may find at the store she chooses to throw a fit about.  She wants love and that’s what we should give her.

 God said that we should love our neighbor even when they don’t deserve it.  If I love her the way God loves me then maybe someday she will learn to love too.

So my advice to other siblings or parents of RAD kids, just love them as much as you can and someday they might learn to love in return.    

SAM