Creative RAD Consequence #331

Is seems impossible to keep up with RAD kids and consequences.  What worked one day fails miserably the next day.  Not to mention it all the professionals disagree about what consequences are most effective.

In our home we change things up all the time.  Our RAD, Kate, does better when we are consistent with our rules, but unpredictable with our consequences.  When she is not sure what the consequence will be it makes her think twice before she breaks a rule.  Traditional consequences have there place with RAD, but every parent needs many, many creative ones too.

I am starting a series of sharing some of the consequences we use.  A few of them are super easy, while others take more planning.  You will find your rhythm on when to use each...and maybe come up with some of your own.

So first up is # 331

Touching Your Nose 1 Time

Kate asks me a million questions all day long.  These are all questions she already knows the answer to.  Why?  Why would she do this?

The answer:  because in her mind she is "controlling" me by making me answer her.  Control means power and power means safety.

The other possible answer: it annoys me and Kate finds great pleasure in annoying everyone.

So when Kate asks me a question she already knows the answer to, I do not stop what I am doing or even look at her.  I simply touch my nose 1 time.

I explained the very first time I ever did this that it meant I knew she did not need an answer and I would not be acknowledging this conversation anymore. 

She of course needed to test it out.

The 1st few times she tried everything to get me to answer her.  She kept asking , poking me, grabbing me, tapping me, grunting, groaning, screaming, and all her other typical behaviors.  I responded to nothing. 

She upped her game and got physical.  Without talking to her, I moved her to her room and walked out.  This went back and forth for a little bit, but she eventually realized I was not going to respond.  She never took it to that level again.

We have been doing this for about a year now.  Most of the time it works.  She is usually irritated by it, but it still works.  Occasionally she will have a little huff and puff fit as she walks off, but that is still a success in my book.


Give it a try and let me know how it works for you.  Or feel free to ask if you have any questions.