We don't use "the tall finger" in our family and had never really noticed Kate use it either. However, about 10 days ago, I started seeing it this finger casually, but strategically placed. I didn't say anything, but made a mental note to watch out for it. Sure enough, it was being used quite often.
Kate knew this was not an acceptable behavior and she was very careful how she used it. I noticed her 2 favorite ways were to act as if she was pointing at something or she would "crack" all her knuckles except that one, leaving that finger standing alone. A smirk on her face would follow as she was empowered by doing this without getting caught.
The next week I privately spoke to her counselor about it. She then told Kate all about "non verbals" and how sometimes they spoke louder than words. She went on to say that I had told her about a new non verbal I had noticed Kate using. The smirk came onto Kate's face. The only thing better to a RAD kid then doing something and not getting caught is doing something that your parent doesn't approve of.
Kate listened as her counselor explained that it is important for us to not only hear Kate's words, but also her non verbals. She stated that in an effort to make sure we always noticed her "tall finger", it would be best if we helped her with it.
When we got home, we put a finger splint on each "tall finger". Kate was less than amused and by the end of the day she was tired of her "tall fingers" standing up.
When we took them off, we told her we would keep the splints so she could use them again, if needed. It has been 2 days so far and her "tall fingers" have managed to stay down.
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